Out of nowhere came the day we developed a disturbing new interest in lawn care.
The day we ordered Pinot Grigio instead of Pabst.
The day we refused to see any concert where we could not sit down.
I speak, of course, of the day we turned uncool.
Not too long ago, if you asked me to hook you up with free tickets, or a fake ID,
or a summer sublet, I'd have given you ten people to call off the top of my head.
Now I find myself recommending exterminators. Need a roofer?
To tell you the truth, I can't believe I've turned into that type of individual.
I still think of myself as young and with-it, which, obviously, I am not.
I mean, reread that last sentence. Who says "with-it"?
I tell you who. Practising members of the adult-oriented lifestyle -
a crowd I've never felt particularly comfortable with.
I suppose I am what you call a reluctant grown-up,
living in a perpetual state of astonishment that, yes,
it is really me who has somehow become one of those responsible
neighbours who always buys enough Halloween candy.
